Silence (grace?)

Well friends, the time has come where I think I'm going to alienate most of you while I describe my spiritual quest.
Before I begin, though, I think I forgot to tell you all about my experience in the train station in Delhi. Imagine it's (literally) 100 degrees. Now imagine the biggest crowd you've ever seen at the State Fair. Then triple the amount of people that are in that space. Now imagine all those people trying to push their way into tiny doors on the side of a train. Madness, I say! I can see how people die in mobs. I found myself getting swept away in the crowd! People on the train say they didn't know what was going on at the station, but there were more people than they'd ever seen. I'm constantly amazed at the masses of humanity.
I made it to a legitimate Ashram here in Rishikesh. More difficult than you might think. One of the things that drew me to it is the fact that they're directly associated with a meditation center in Minneapolis! I think it's so funny that you leave home to find it again in unexpected places. Here's the website if you're interested: www.bindu.org
I'm staying at the Swami Rama Sadaka Grama retreat center, doing an individualized program.
I started some meditation classes this morning and am reading books about the philosophy of the Himilayan Masters.
I read a book in Nepal by Jon Krakauer (Into Thin Air) about his expedition to the summit of Everest in 1996, where lots of people died in a big storm. He was talking about what motivates people to do things, like climb Everest, that are really very counter-intuitive. He said he thinks people go up the mountain looking for grace. That idea resonated with me and has stayed with me since I read it. I think we're all looking for grace in our lives, though sometimes in the wrong places. I'm sure that's what led me here. I watched a video today where the Swami was talking about meditation. He said the world/life/our experience is like a spinning wheel--in the center of the wheel exists a spot that's always still. Without that still spot, the wheel cannot turn. Through meditation, we're not looking to stop the world, we're looking to put ourselves in that silent spot. Anyhoo, I knew when I wanted to meditate that I was looking for a silent space in my mind and a way to find it. So, hearing this man speak today really resonated with me.
I'm staying at the Ashram till April 28. I'll write periodically, but probably not every day. I'm following a sort of personalized program. I have some classes in the morning and I'm reading a lot of books.
Stay well!
Lauren